Sharing a bed when one of you snores
Snoring is rarely one person’s problem. One of you snores, the other lies awake, and often nobody wants to bring it up. Here is how to talk about it and try something together.
You’re not the only one
In a study of 1,913 people referred to a sleep center, 88% of the women were measured snoring, but only 72% said they snore. Women snored about as loudly as men. According to the authors, there is a social stigma associated with snoring among women. See the study
In a couple, that means the one who “doesn’t snore” may not know either.
Snoring isn’t a flaw of character. It is what soft tissue does when it relaxes and narrows in sleep. Why people snore
Talking about it
- Start with the practical. “I’d like to try something for the snoring, and it would help to know how loud it gets.”
- Ask for information, not verdicts. How often? Every night? When you sleep on your back?
- If you’re the one who hears it. Make it about the bed, not the person: “I miss sleeping next to you. Can we try something together?”
- Agree on a small plan. Try one thing for a few nights, then compare notes. How to compare fairly
What else people try
The NHS suggests losing weight if you are overweight, sleeping on your side, and avoiding smoking, heavy drinking and sleeping pills. It also mentions that a partner can use earplugs. [5] Earplugs and a separate room help the one who hears it. They don’t change the snoring, which for many snorers starts at the jaw. If lifestyle changes aren’t working, or you notice daytime sleepiness or gasping during sleep, see a doctor.
A night away from home
Try it as two
Each mouthguard is molded to one person’s teeth. The Pair ($74.99 ) has two, one for each of you or a spare. Nobody has to be “the snorer”, and you have 90 nights to decide.
You would not be the only ones to try. In a 2023 survey, people who had slept apart and later went back to sharing a bed most often said it was because they missed each other. [12]